Aries: Doritos
Taurus: cute boys and girls
Gemini: television shows
Cancer: memes
Leo: meaningful friendships
Virgo: Chris Evans
Libra: money
Scorpio: French fries
Sagittarius: astrology posts
Capricorn: movies
Aquarius: music
Pisces: small animals
Tag: libra
The Signs as Marvel’s Teams
Avengers: Capricorn, Taurus, Sagittarius
X-men: Gemini, Leo, Scoprio
Guardians of the galaxy: Virgo, Cancer, Libra
Fantastic Four: Aries, Aquarius, Pisces
The signs playing hide and seek
Aries is trying to find everyone and gets mad when they can’t find people so they start stomping their feet and slamming doors to scare the shit out of everyone
Taurus and Leo are shitting themselves in the closet because they hear Aries screaming, then they end up kissing each other
Gemini grabbed a knife from the kitchen and hid in the shower
Cancer and Libra are in the bed covers then they end up spooning and falling asleep together
Virgo is being a ninja and moving to the hiding spots Aries has already looked at so they will never get found
Sagittarius is on the roof with Scorpio mooning all the cars that drive past
Capricorn doesn’t want to play this stupid game so they order a pizza and pay for it with Gemini’s money
Aquarius fucks with Aries by opening doors Aries had just closed but they are never to be seen, they are secretly in competition with Virgo on who’s the best ninja
Pisces goes up on the roof with Sagittarius and Scorpio and ends up playing truth or dare, Aries has just had it and leaves
the signs as the scum of the internet
Aries: brony
Taurus: otaku
Gemini: superwholock
Cancer: furry
Leo: meninist
Virgo: the attack on titan fandom
Libra: gamer
Scorpio: weeaboo
Sagittarius: hentai enthusiast
Capricorn: shitposter
Aquarius: thinks their waifu is real
Pisces: lolicon
the signs and their mythical pets
aires: panther with fur made of actual fire, eyes black as coal. teeth drip with lava. can swim through lava and walk through molten earth with no problems.
taurus: a raven large enough to fly on, matte black feathers and cold, dull purple eyes. leaves a trail of smoke when it flies.
gemini: a white tiger with dark black stripes. silver claws and teeth that can bite/cut through any material. a roar so powerful the earth shakes. a tail almost as long as it’s main body.
cancer: an elk with antlers made of ice. icicles sharp enough to kill drip down from them. eyes that reflect the ocean. fur that is as cold as snow.
leo: a lion actually made of earth. it’s fur is like grass, and it’s eyes reflect the sun itself. wherever it goes, it spreads life. it’s mane sometimes sprouts wildflowers.
virgo: a bear made of the night sky. it’s fur contains constellations and planets. it’s eyes are stars themselves. it is a peaceful, loving creature-until one of it’s loved ones are hurt. if that occurs, they have claws sharp enough to rip through rock.
libra: a giant bird with transparent feathers that reflect it’s environment. eyes that glow red. when it lands, it levels out the ground beneath it.
scorpio: a lioness made of shadow. it lurks in caves, afraid to be seen. poison runs through it’s veins, deadly enough to kill by contact. large canines, and claws.
sagittarius: a wolf that can outrun the wind. pure white fur and deep, sea blue eyes. long, jet black claws and teeth. spends most of it’s life fleeing, not fighting.
capricorn: a creature with no defined shape nor species. constantly turns from one to the next. they are identified with a scar, an X across their chest, that they contain in every form. iridescent fur/scales/skin.
aquarius: a large, dragon-like lizard with matte black scales. eats rocks, and breathes out fire and smoke. spits up lava over it’s enemies. creates deserts.
pisces: a large sea turtle with a shell comprised of sea ice, to resemble an iceberg. lives in arctic waters. breathes super-cold breath to create more ice. sometimes invites arctic animals such as seals to live on it’s shell.
the signs as obviously fake tumblr stories
aries: Sherlock, Subtext, and My Ultra-Conservative Baby-Boomer Dad
taurus: the queer whisperer
gemini: “im going to try that on my husband”
cancer: So A Brony Tried Hitting On Me In A Coffee Shop Today
leo: “i just sent my honors teacher a pic of jonghyun shirtless by mistake!”
virgo: “so when’s our date”
libra: Down With Cis
scorpio: SEE ME
saggitarius: my friend had jury duty today
capricorn: “dude this is so gay”
aquarius: “damn i would tap that ass so bad”
pisces: SUCK MY ASS
the signs visit an aquarium
aries: will you give me five bucks if i swallow a live fish
taurus: omfg they actually sell seafood here that’s so sad but tbh let’s get some
gemini: guys i’m actually fluent in whale *annoying whale noises*
cancer: how can these fish stay underwater so long without taking a breath
leo: I FOUND NEMO HAHAHA
virgo: omg i want a dolphin how much money is a dolphin
libra: *gets stung by jellyfish* aw it likes me
scorpio: how do whales have sex
sagittarius: good thing i brought my swimsuit *somehow breaks into fish tank*
capricorn: where can i apply to be an aquatic wildlife handler i want to work with these beautiful animals
aquarius: *buys an artsy starfish souvenir from the gift shop* because i’m a star
pisces: where’s the mermaid exhibit though
which straight white boy problem are you?
aries: Straight White Boy Problem #391
taurus: Straight White Boy Problem #422
gemini: Straight White Boy Problem #207
cancer: Straight White Boy Problem #487
leo: Straight White Boy Problem #108
virgo: Straight White Boy Problem #551
libra: Straight White Boy Problem #32
scorpio: Straight White Boy Problem #282
sagittarius: Straight White Boy Problem #640
capricorn: Straight White Boy Problem #101
aquarius: Straight White Boy Problem #471
pisces: Straight White Boy Problem #216
vague aesthetics based on ur zodiac sign
aries: a broken nose, black lipstick, combat boots
taurus: over-large hoodies, hot cocoa, nude lipstick
gemini: wilting flowers, a still lake, dry knuckles
cancer: dandelion wishes, candy on clearance, dyed hair
leo: bloody palms, a mirror maze, red lipstick
virgo: whiteboard markers, tapping feet, alarm clocks
libra: a used paint palette, warm cookies, first snowfall
scorpio: smudged eyeliner, black coffee, chipped nail polish
sagittarius: glowing embers, pancake stacks, loud laughter
capricorn: ink-stained hands, a vibrant sunrise, stale cigarette smoke
aquarius: glow-in-the-dark stars, lukewarm tea, a summer’s breeze
pisces: overstuffed couches, dog-eared books, glittery eyeshadow
The signs’ last words
Aries: I hid a million dollars under the *dies*
Taurus: thanks for the going away cake guys
Gemini: knock knock…..who’s there…. *dies*
Cancer: some cliché movie last words
Leo: you should see the look on your face
Virgo: I wonder how many times I’ve ever blinked
Libra: lol bye
Scorpio: I’M READY FOR HELL
Sagittarius: wait am I dying
Capricorn: finally man this was exhausting
Aquarius: I see the light….. wait that’s hellfire
Pisces: tell my chinchilla I love him